Field Guide

Base Stats

These are the four stats in the game.

Health points: Rats and Pigeons roll D6+Guts, Raccoons roll D8+Guts. Your starting health can never drop below 1.

Races

Every shitty buddy starts the same way: badly.

Step one · the species: roll a d6, or just fucking pick

This one

Rat

d6 · 1–2

+2 Reflex · −1 Rage · HP d6+Guts
Too shitty to die · Just a lil guy

A damp miracle of spite and fleas.

This one

Pigeon

d6 · 3–4

+2 Reflex · −1 Instinct · HP d6+Guts
Gravity's ongoing failure · Dumb as fuck

Flying trash, with thoughts (question mark).

This one

Raccoon

d6 · 5–6

+1 Rage · +1 Guts · +1 Instinct · HP d8+Guts
Trash hands · Kinda fat though

Shitty little hands, no morals.

Stat generation

Roll 3d6 and add them together for each stat to get your stat modifier. Once you have your four modifiers, add your race and nest modifiers on top of those — they modify the modifier, not the 3d6 total.

Nests

Roll a d6 to find out where your shitty buddy comes from. Your nest sets a stat swing and what's already in your pockets.

Names

Roll a d20 for each column. Your name is Column A + Column B.

Darts & Tail Mary

Drag darts. Do drugs. Don't die.

Each shitty buddy tracks darts smoked toward Nicotine Nirvana™. A dart is half a cigarette. A whole one is worth two, from loot, trade, or whatever degenerate scheme got you one. It has to be lit before it's worth anything at all.

Darts	What that is
1	A half-smoked cigarette. Your share, or somebody's leavings
2	One full cigarette, lit
6	Ascended: Nicotine Nirvana™ achieved

Split it. A whole cigarette is meant to go around: light it, take your half, hand it off. One dart each. Six darts is three cigarettes and somebody to share them with, which is the closest thing this game has to a friendship mechanic.

Asphyxiation · back to back only

The only thing stopping you from smoking a whole pack at once is your lungs. The first dart is free. Every dart you rail immediately after it is a Guts save or you choke on it.

Darts in a row	Guts save
1st	None. Smoke in peace
2nd	DR 12
3rd	DR 14
4th	DR 16
5th	DR 18
6th	DR 20

The DR climbs 2 for every dart you rail without stopping.Do anything else and the count starts over. Go somewhere, scavenge, swing at something, wait a round out: your next dart is a first dart again, free and clear.

So the punishment is only ever for greed. Rail all six to reach Nicotine Nirvana™ tonight and you finish on a DR 20 roll with a mouth full of ash. Smoke like a creature with somewhere to be and you never roll at all.

Tail Mary · once per game

Hail Mary, but with a tail. Sacrifice your tail to reroll any one die from your most recent roll: stat checks, weapon damage, soak rolls, whatever just landed.

If two dice were rolled, you choose which one to reroll; the die you keep is recalculated. Your tail is gone for the rest of that game.

The dart counter, mid-run. Six darts. Nicotine Nirvana™.

Scavenging

The city provides, reluctantly. The GM sets the die (d6/d8/d10/d12/d20) by how good the location is. A dumpster behind a restaurant and a locked skip are not the same dig.

Weapons (d20)

Heavy items can't be wielded without penalty unless you have the Kinda fat though trait. D2 = coin flip. Thrown weapons must be physically recovered or they're gone.

d20	Art	Weapon	Effect	Flavour
1		BoneD2 · Melee		"At least its not yours."
2		Toy HammerD2 · Melee		"Bonk."
3		Knitting/Crochet HookD2 · Melee	Squeaks loudly when it hits.	"Go for the eyes."
4		Piece of GlassD4 · Melee	Breaks on use.	"It works, once."
5		Broken BottleD4 · Melee	If you roll a 4, it deals 4 damage but breaks	"Get glassed, nerd."
6		BrickD4 · Melee or Ranged - Thrown	Deals D6 damage when dropped from a height.	"All bricked up."
7		Pocket KnifeD4 · Melee		"Stabby stabby stabby."
8		Throwing StarD4 · Ranged - Thrown		"On that ninja type shit."
9		Bear SprayD4 · Ranged	Target makes a DR12 guts roll or is blinded for 1d6 minutes.	"You like seeing do you?"
10		DartsD4 · Ranged - Thrown		"The other kind of darts."
11		BoxcutterD6 · Melee	Target makes a guts DR12 roll, on failure is bleeding	"Totally for boxes. For sure."
12		2x4D6 · Melee	Heavy	"You could build with it, but you probably won't."
13		Sick Ass NunchucksD6 · Melee	On a damage roll of 1, deal 1 damage to your target and take 2 damage.	"You are gonna look so fuckin cool."
14		Baseball BatD8 · Melee		"Swing for the fences."
15		HatchetD8 · Melee	Heavy. Target makes a guts DR12 roll, on failure is bleeding	"Recommended for use on wood, but you don't care about recommendations do you."
16		TaserD8 · Ranged	Cannot deal lethal damage. (Guts DR14 roll or become Incapacitated)	"Don't tase me bro."
17		Bear TrapD10 · Trap	Trap must be set to deal damage. Requires a DR14 Guts roll to set.	"Works just as well on humans."
18		Combat KnifeD10 · Melee	Target makes a guts DR12 roll, on failure is bleeding	"You are the hunter now."
19		Dope Ass KatanaD12 · Melee	Target makes a guts DR12 roll, on failure is bleeding	"Omae wa mou shindeiru."
20		Big Ass Fucking Gun2D6 · Ranged	DR12 Instinct or the kickback kills you (unless you have Trash hands). Roll D8 when you pick it up. That's every bullet you will ever have.	"Pew pew pew."

Tools (d20)

d20	Art	Tool	Effect	Flavour
1		Lighter	Sets shit on fire.	"Burn baby, burn."
2		Lock pick	Reflex roll to open doors/locks (Set by GM)	"Now not even doors can stop you."
3		Magnifying Glass	View from a distance, set shit on fire (Wireless combustion requires time)	"Not for staring into the sun, pigeons."
4		Crowbar	Open doors and boxes, doubles as a D6 weapon with the Heavy trait	"Repulsive in its splendid beauty."
5		Plastic Bag	Multi-purpose. Carry items, reduce fall damage, asphyxiate,	"Deadly to animals, beautiful in the wind."
6		Rope	Climb up, climb down. Tie up, tie down.	"For climbing, tying, or in some cases necks."
7		Treasure Map	Reveals D4 points of interest. Might be crayon.	"Here there be treasure."
8		Surgical Tubing	Suck, blow, tie, launch.	"Tubular."
9		Screwdriver	Open, pry, put together, take apart, stab??	"The tool, not the drink, sorry."
10		Huge Fucking Magnet	Use with caution. Extremely attractive item.	"How does it work?"
11		Toilet Plunger	Suction, grab, plunge.	"The chance of this being used on an actual toilet is slim, but never zero."
12		Super Glue	Build, stick, sniff?	"Not for your eyeballs."
13		Waterwings	Buoyancy. Reduce fall damage if you are a rat. Fill with liquid.	"...and other poolside fashion faux pas."
14		Firecracker	Needs to be lit. BOOM. Damage? (Set by GM)	"Make not to be holding it when it goes off."
15		Spark Plug	Break windows, and teeth.	"We don't recommend you try this."
16		Magic Marker	Draw shit. (Keep in mind animals are fucking illiterate) Can also be huffed.	"Smells like it works."
17		Nice Rock	The best you've seen. Does not float.	"It's a really nice rock."
18		Metal Spork	Digging, Scooping (dirt or eyeballs), heating? Spaghetti	"The ultimate form of cutlery."
19		Shitty Hacksaw	Hack and saw, shittily	"Its super shitty."
20		Water Gun	Shoot any liquid, look cool as fuck	"You're gonna make it squirt."

Food (d6)

Food is how you heal. Everything else you put in your body is a gamble.

Consumables (d20)

Everything you shouldn't put in your body, plus a few things you should. Seven of these roll again on their own effects table: open a category below to see it.

d20	Art	Item	Effect	Flavour
1		Paper Straw	Blow or syphon fluids.	"Yeah, save those turtles."
2		Aerosol Degreaser	Grease up, make flammable.	"Some slippery shit."
3		Bag of worms	Whatever you do with a bag of worms.	"A couple wiggly little buddies, in a bag."
4		Greasy Rag	Flammable and fume laden.	"Reminds you of your mother."
5		Used Perfume	Cover up a smell,	"Notes of rosewater and grandma's couch."
6		First Aid Kit	Heal 1D6 HP, cure bleeding or poisoned.	"The oh shit kit."
7		Cannabinoids	Roll on the Cannabinoid Effects table.	"Puff. Puff. Pass."
8		Cannabinoids	Roll on the Cannabinoid Effects table.	"Get totally pitted."
9		Alcohol	Roll on the Alcohol Effects table.	"Time to grease the liver."
10		Alcohol	Roll on the Alcohol Effects table.	"It's just a lil drinky poo."
11		Mystery Pills	Roll on the Mystery Pills table.	"Lets go gambling!"
12		Mystery Pills	Roll on the Mystery Pills table.	"It could be anything!"
13		Trippers	Roll on the Trippers Effects table.	"Venus in furs."
14		Trippers	Roll on the Trippers Effects table.	"Like... woah dude."
15		Snoozers	Roll on the Snoozers Effects table.	"Get your lean on."
16		Snoozers	Roll on the Snoozers Effects table.	"Start chasing dragons."
17		Buzzers	Roll on the Buzzers Effects table.	"You can feel bees in your teeth."
18		Buzzers	Roll on the Buzzers Effects table.	"Gotta go fast."
19		Fuzzers	Roll on the Fuzzers Effects table.	"(Slow heavy metal music playing)"
20		Cigarette	Worth 2 darts. Needs to be lit.	"Perfection."

Effects tables

Status Effects

The conditions the tables above keep handing out. A reference, not a roll: these get applied to you, not rolled for.

Armour

Armour rolls its die to reduce incoming damage. It doesn't raise an AC; enemies hit on beating DR 10.

Profane Passages & Spells

Profane Passages are the only way to get a spell. Reading one is a gamble.

The 20-spell table

d20	Art	Spell	Effect	Flavour
1		Fucking Laserbeams	Fire 1d4 lasers at targets within sight. They make a DR14 reflex test, on failure they take 3d6 damage.	"frickin animals, with frickin laser beams coming out of their heads"
2		Piss Tornado	You have 6 seconds to hide. A piss tornado tears through where you were standing dealing 2d8 damage to everything in its path.	"Urine for a tough time."
3		Beep Beep Motherfucker	The nearest vehicle (in operation or otherwise) hurtles towards you at high speed. Everything in its path suffers 4d6 damage. Make a DR8 reflex save, if you fail, you take the damage as well.	"Animal crossing."
4		Summon: Tactical Shopping Cart	Summon a controllable shopping cart. It has 12hp and a ram attack that deals 1d6 damage. Every time the cart deals damage, it takes half the damage it deals. You can ride in it.	"Does not work for online shopping."
5		Garbage Day	All garbage and dumpsters within 30ft hurtles towards the target of your choice within site. The GM decides the damage based on the contents.	"It's garbage dayyyy..."
6		Summon: Ghost of a Divorced Dad	Summon a spirit companion for d20 minutes. He is wearing an obscure band t-shirt and drinking craft beer. He can provide advice. It's not always good.	"What is your wisdom, o' great Gary."
7		Roll Coal	Diesel fumes erupt from your mouth in a 12ft cone. Everything that breathes in its path suffers 1D6 damage and must make a DR 12 Guts roll. On a failure they start Asphyxiating.	"Probably compensating for something."
8		Grand Theft Trachea	The trachea of a target within your line of sight appears in your hands. They suffer the consequences of suddenly not having a trachea.	"Protect ya neck."
9		Turn Off Bones	1d4 targets within your sight suddenly become boneless. They are still alive.	"Now in liquid form."
10		Nacho Cheese Catastrophe	The earth splinters and expels a torrent of super heated nacho cheese. All living beings within 20ft must make a DR14 reflex save, on failure they take 2d6 damage and become coated with nacho cheese. The cheese coating deals d6 damage at the end of each turn until removed.	"Tortilla chips available for an additional charge."
11		Shit Your Whole Ass	The insides of a target within your sight become their outsides via their butthole. They suffer immeasurable consequences.	"Not a viable laxative."
12		Unlimited Fucking Breadsticks	At a point within your sight, a portal opens and begins to spew forth breadsticks at an alarming rate at roughly 10 breadsticks per second. Lasts d12 minutes.	"Say when."
13		Kickflip Over Death	The next time you would die, instead a skateboard materializes and you do a kickflip. It's sick. Everyone is very impressed. Your HP becomes 1.	"HOLY FUCKING SHIT. DID YOU SEE THAT!?"
14		Become the Liquor	1d4 targets within your sight become absolutely, irrevocably drunk off their ass. They permanently become Fucked out of their skull.	"Their cups overfloweth."
15		Summon: Valiant Cobra Chicken	You summon a Canadian Goose that obeys your commands. It has 6hp and has a peck attack that deals d12 damage. It can fly, and honk to draw attention.	"Nicknamed the 'cobra chicken' for its long neck, fierce hiss, and unapologetic attitude."
16		Banish to the Meat Dimension	A target within your sight is banished to the meat dimension (???)	"We have such sights to show you."
17		Sisyphus took a smoko	A giant boulder 12ft in diameter appears suddenly and rolls d100ft in the direction of your choosing at terminal velocity, destroying anything in its path. Living creatures within its path must make a DR12 reflex save or be crushed to death instantly.	"A rolling stone gathers no moss. But it will probably gather loads of viscera."
18		Would You Love Me If I Was a Worm	A target within your sight turns into an earthworm. It is very affectionate towards you.	"The answer should always be yes."
19		Summon: Huge fucking guy on bath salts	Summon a 6'4, 350lbs menace absolutely hosed out of his mind on amphetamines. He has 24hp and a rage modifier of +6. He can make a d8 bite attack, and a grapple attack (contest of rage against the target to incapacitate). At the end of every action he takes d6 self inflicted damage. At the end of d8 minutes, his heart explodes and he dies regardless of current health. You can gently suggest what he should do, he might listen.	"Godluck and goodspeed."
20		Smokes, Lets Go	Conjure d4-1 full cigarettes (minimum 1).	"If I can't smoke and swear, then I'm fucked."

Now go die somewhere